Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
