It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
