In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
