His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
