Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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