You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize