i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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