Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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