His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
