Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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