what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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