I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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