I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
