What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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