I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
