Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
