Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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