Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this boner is exhausting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
