maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
