Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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