I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
