i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
