READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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