yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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