R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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