allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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