remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
