that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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