HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
