Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
