My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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