I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
