I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
