Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
