I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
