his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
