I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
