She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
