So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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