Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
