well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
