So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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