i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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