I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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