If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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