Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize