I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
