I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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