READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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