You really coming over, don't trick.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
