It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
