Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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