just tell him i said nine months
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
