its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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