I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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