I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
