The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
