You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
