there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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